A letter to myself about rediscovering my identity

Dear Sara,

I know this whole season of your life has been massively confusing, seemingly endless, and void of purpose. But you had a great realization today that helped you see some potential positive in what’s felt like months of darkness. Whether this darkness was orchestrated by God or not, He is using this season of your life to teach you where your true identity is—in HIM alone.

It’s not that you never learned your identity as a Christ follower is in Jesus. I know you remember well the years you spent in college learning that lesson and owning your identity as a daughter of God. That’s why you’ve felt so frustrated to have to be relearning it all over again in this post-college transition.

Think about everything else you could be finding your identity in right now. In an impressive job, but instead you work part-time hours in an entry level position. In doing all the “right” Christian things like reading your Bible and praying every day, but those disciplines have nearly vanished. In your family, but you’re seriously struggling to love (let alone like) your family members most days and family dynamics have been changing. In the opposite gender, but the guy you planned to make part of your identity was written out of your life story. In friends, but many of them live out of state and it’s challenging to work out times to talk. In how productively you spend your time, but half the time you have no motivation to accomplish anything you’ll have something to show for afterward. In yourself, but even there you can’t find your identity because you keep relapsing into depression and are fighting just to feel okay in your own head.

What does this possibly leave to find your identity in except God? But here, too, He made sure your identity wasn’t based on thinking you had Him all figured out. Nope, He took away most everything you thought you knew about how He works, too.

Sara, God has taken away virtually everything you once found or could possibly find any shred of security and identity in. All except for Him, and who He is, and who He says you are. That is literally all you have left.

This time of your life is extremely hard, that much is absolutely true. But it may also be a blessing in disguise, because out of this you might emerge with such a rock-solid understanding of who you are. In those moments when you’ve looked around and cried out in despair because the safety of everything else has disappeared, remember what it was you whispered to yourself?

“Don’t let your heart be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in Me.” “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through Me.”

You turned to these words of Jesus that reminded you of Whose you are.

You may never know if God really ordained for you to go through this really dark, difficult time. But you can know that in losing everything that was once stable and a source of safety in your life, it opened wide the door to find your identity solely in God in a whole new way. You’re only now beginning to see this wide open door, but I hope you’ll take Christ’s hand as you start making slow but sure steps through that door toward your true identity, in Jesus alone.

Yours always,

Sara

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